Dr. Jerm - Helping YOU Achieve Excellence In Life.
Hi, I'm Jeremy N. Johnson, your coach in excellence since 2008. Interested in a life of excellence? Read, watch, and lets connect! Contact Me.


Finding Confidence

Please understand this: Confidence is not arrogance or being cocky. Confidence is belief in yourself and then taking that belief into action that you fully accept the outcome with. Confidence comes through hard work, preparation, and that belief which is ever so important. Think about it for a moment - if you do not believe in yourself, will you take a risk? Will you approach that beautiful woman or handsome man you see in the distance? Will you ask for a raise at your job without confidence? Let's dive in then and see how this confidence can be attained.
Emotional Stability Welcome, today you are going to learn about confidence. Confidence, for the purposes of this site, is the certainty of yourself to overcome or accomplish anything that is before you. It is your ability to feel good about the decisions you make. It is your ability to feel capable when presented with situations. It is your ability to know that you can do a good job with whatever it is that needs to be done. It is also your ability to handle situations where a specific set of intrusctions are not laid out before us and therefore the confidence to make things happen, in a brilliant manner, without a pre-written situation.

Gain Confidence

Perhaps you are in high school, and there's this certain girl/guy that you would like to talk to, but you just can't get up the courage to do it. Why is that? What is stopping you from going up and talking to him/her? Let me tell you: Let me tell you, when I was in high school, I was shy. There is no two ways about it. I look back and examine myself in my earlier years and when I was in high school, I became extremely nervous when I was around a girl that I liked. I had trouble talking to even my friends that were around, if a pretty girl was nearby. There was several girls I liked when I was in high school, but because I lacked confidence and was shy, I never experienced what might have happened. What a pitty this is. Only in the last couple years have I really started to understand my confidence and use confidence to its full potential. Even my wife will tell you how long it took for me to kiss her for the first time. Can you say, "just get it over with already", five hours later!

Times have certainly changed! I am comfortable with myself. I know what I want out of life. I enjoy communicating with all kinds of people. I am no longer intimidated by beautiful women. Yes, I used to be intimidated by women I thought were attractive. I would be willing to bet this is a common scenario for a lot of guys. You can watch TV and you'll see a gorgeous women, such as Pamela Anderson, and say, "Hey, I'd like to take her out". But the reality is if you saw her in person and were given a chance to talk to her, you would shrivel up like a prune. Admitting this to yourself is very important.

So gaining confidence is a must! To do this, you must first take the steps to work on yourself. I recommend reading the self help guide to take the first basic steps to getting yourself ready. Once finishing this guide, and putting it into practice, you will be well on your way to gaining the self confidence you need!

Enhance Your Life with Confidence

Confidence enhances your life in many ways. But first let us look at what you are missing if you lack the confidence it takes to live a full, happy, and abundant life.

First, a lack of confidence causes us to feel stress and awkwardness around groups of people, particularly those who are not part of our family. This is just the reality of lacking self confidence. If you are uncomfortable around people, stress, anxiety, and all sorts of nasty stuff will permiate your soul.

Second, a lack of confidence will prevent us from experiencing the finer points of life. It takes confidence to have a good career. One must be certain of what they are going to do. Then, the steps must be taken with assurety to make it happen. Furthermore, the confidence to be the best at what you do is needed to have people recognize you as being a leader in your chosen field of expertise. Many career and personal opportunities will be missed because of a lack of confidence.

Third, you will never be able to influence others around you to what you see without confidence. Being able to speak clearly, plainly, and without hesitation is a key to gaining the influence of another person. Why would one want the influence of another person? Becuase having someone believe in you causes you to have help and support for what you are trying to do. Having the assistance of another person greatly increases what you can do in your life. You get more done, and have friends along the way.

Fourth, I believe that real happiness comes only to those who are supremely confident. This does not mean you are an arrogant prick that goes around pumping your chest out saying, "Look at me, I'm buff, I'm snuff, and stare at me because I'm so cool." No, not at all, the confidence needed for true happiness, this confidence enables one to remove the guessing out of life. It requires intense study, dedication, and determination. But the rewards are a life without unknowns, without accidents. Yes, bad things can still happen. But you are never caught so unaware that it's too much to handle.

Fifth, and finally, confidence builds your ability and your ability comes from your confidence. The two go hand in hand. I like to play basketball and I like to shoot free throws. It is a challenge that I enjoy. I know that when I go to the free throw line to shoot a basket that I have a good chance of making the shot. I know this because I've played basketball since I was eight years old. I've shot thousands upon thousands of free throws. I learned the proper technique from a dead eye shooter, Steve Alford, who played at Indiana University in the 1980's. There are no unknowns that occur when I shoot a free throw. I give it my best shot. If I miss, I accept it and move on. My skill gives me confidence, and my confidence helps me make the shot.

Whatever it is that you seek to excel at, know that it takes much time to have true confidence with it. One cannot simply sluff through something and feel confident in it. You will be put to the test and falter because you have not gained the knowledge necessary. Once you gain the knowledge and use it, and see that you are good at it, and then gain the confidence necessary to enhance it even further, you will realize great things. I've been doing web development since the year 2001. I am confident that I can do whatever I need to, or figure it out, when it comes to a website.

Recognize Who you Are

You must recognize who are are. Are you a shy guy/gal who has a hard time talking to people? There is nothing wrong with that. Taking a big step to realize something like that to yourself will go a long ways. Do you want to be able to talk to people without feeling so shy and tense? If so, that is good! Having the desire is the first thing that you must always have when trying to accomplish something. Whatever it is you are lacking confidence in, you must realize it. If you are a middle aged, balding man, realize it and accept it. Don't pout over it or think you have to wear a wig. Accept it, flaunt it, and be confident with what you are!

Tap Into Your Potential

There really is unlimited potential in all of us. The reality is that most of it goes unrealized for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons include: Never, and I mean NEVER let something prevent you from tapping into your true potential. Someone has a pot of gold in front of you and they tell you, "Ok, here's how you get this pot of gold, it's pretty easy. You just do 100 jumping jacks, tell yourself that you are wonderful, and go find someone else and tell them they are wonderful." That doesn't seem too complicated. I bet most of us probably are thinking, "yeah, I can do that." Well, most of us do not. You let yourself get stuck in rut's where you let the routine of each day dictate what you do. you go to school/work, come home, watch TV, sleep, watch more TV. You play computer/video games all the time (nothing wrong with computer/video games, I love them - in moderation). And you never actually seek to do what is different and necessary to tap into your full potential.

Replace the rut with things that will build your potential. Go on a walk, go talk to your neighbor next door, find that book. Stop putting and get off your behind and go make something happen. You will be amazed at the positive enrgy that you begin to realize if you just start doing some small steps to replacing your rut with worthwhile things. You can do it!

Seek Positive and Confidence Building Things

Seek after positive and confidence building things. One of the main things that can help with this is your choice of friends, entertainment, spouse, and thoughts you allow in your head.

Our Choice of Friends is huge. Do you hang out with people that just say life sucks and then you die? Yuck! I cannot imagine being around a group of people whose core mantra is that. What if you were around friends who were successful, happy, and built each other up? What a boost to your confidence this would be!

Our Choice of Entertainment plays a role in your confidence. Do you watch depressing movies and eat a tub of ice cream? Do you listen to sad songs all the time? Do you listen and watch things of a negative nature showing abuse, harm, and shame? Perhaps seeking entertainment that uplifts, provokes to action, inspires, and helps you feel like you are more than you ever could be, would be the right way to go.

Our Choice of Spouse plays a major role in what happens in your life. Do you have a kind, loving, and confident spouse? Or do you have a negative, controlling, and dictacting spouse? Think very carefully before choosing your spouse that you can see exactly who they are. After being married for a while now, I can say that I am happily married to a vibrant, confident, and loving woman. She helps me gain the confidence I need as she supports the things I do.

The Thoughts We Think affect us greatly. If I am thinking, "Man, I want a pizza." The odds significantly increase that I am going to pick up that phone and dial Pizza Hut and get a stuffed crust meat lovers pizza. Even typing this now is making me want to eat one, so I'm going to stop.

Build the Confidence of Others

Finally, use your confidence to build other people up. There is a great joy and reward for enabling the success of other people. Want people to respect you? Show them support and build their confidence. Do not judge people and think they are not capable because of your initial impression of them. Remember, each of us has unlimited potential. It just needs to be tapped into. Encourage, teach, and direct with a gentle, loving, and guiding hand. If you do it right, you will witness a rebirth of those you are seeking to give confidence to.

I hoped you enjoyed this discussion of what confidence is. Remember, confidence is not arrogance. True confidence will enable us to live more abundant lives and eliminate guessing!